A Near-Death Journey + Resiliency with Holly Porter (part 1)

A new guest. A clear sky. One question that matters. How do you reignite your fire when life blows it out?

Holly Porter is a CEO, retreat leader, and survivor of a 70-day battle with COVID. She shares her story from intubation and isolation to clarity and purpose. She returned with direction, firm boundaries, and a mission that reshaped her work and her life.

In the ICU, she lost all five senses. She describes the silence, the sameness of masked faces, and the rare moments of contact that kept her connected. She recounts an out-of-body experience in a “Stadium of Light” and a meeting with ancestors who told her one word: fight. From that moment, she received two instructions. Start a nonprofit called Adventure Bucket Wish. Decline a business partnership that did not align.

Her return brought hard years. Legal issues. Family conflict. Emotional strain. Holly explains how hypnosis, community, and reflection helped her rebuild. She learned to say no, to draw lines, and to turn her pain into service.

If you are a founder, leader, or caregiver facing burnout, you will hear clear lessons.

• Trust your inner direction.
• Protect your time and energy.
• Grow through recovery instead of rushing through it.

This is a story of resilience, leadership, and faith in your own path. Follow the show. Share it with someone who needs strength. Leave a review so others can find hope too.

About Holly:

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/retreaternr
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/hollyporter/
TikTok:    https://www.tiktok.com/@hollyaporter
YouTube:  https://youtube.com/@retreatrnr
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/hollyporterinternational/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/HOLLYANNPORTER/
 

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Chapters

• 0:06 Welcome And Show Theme
• 0:41 Hosts Set The Tone
• 1:26 Introducing Guest Holly Porter
• 2:24 The Global Shock Of COVID
• 3:40 Holly Contracts Delta Variant
• 5:17 Spiral Into Hospitalization
• 7:32 Seventy Days, Coma, And Complications
• 9:11 Losing All Five Senses
• 12:08 Family, Faith, And ICU Isolation
• 14:26 OBEs, NDEs, And STEs Explained
• 17:02 The Spiritual Experience: Fight
• 20:07 Out-Of-Body Time Travel And Knowing
• 22:08 The Stadium Of Light NDE
• 24:10 A Mission Given: Nonprofit And No Deal
• 26:06 The “Kidnap” Clue And Return

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

SPEAKER_01: 0:41

Welcome back to another episode of Reignite Resilience. I'm your co-host Natalie Davis, and I'm so excited to be back with all of you today. And joining me, of course, is your co-host Pam Cass. Hello, Pam. How are you?

SPEAKER_02: 0:53

I am fantastic. It is a clear blue sky outside. It's gorgeous out. So it's perfect. This is my weather. This is my jam right now. So I'm happy.

SPEAKER_01: 1:00

It is. It's like a true fall day. Like it truly is fall. The sun is shining. I mean, the be the week started off a little gloomy, which is always hard.

SPEAKER_02: 1:08

Yeah. It's hard to have a Monday like that. So we're skipping that and we're pretending like this is the new Monday.

SPEAKER_01: 1:14

This is the new no, I don't want that either. No, I'm just kidding. Just kidding. Just kidding. We don't need two Mondays in a week. We're good too. No, we're good. Oh my gosh. Well, I am so excited. We have a very special guest that's joining us today. I'm going to turn it over to you, Pam. Why don't you tell our listeners? Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02: 1:32

Yeah, I'm excited. So today we have joining us Holly Porter. She is a CEO of Holly Porter International, guiding leaders and entrepreneurs to create transformational impact worldwide. Surviving a near-death experience reshaped her mission and fuels her passion to help others rise with resilience and purpose. She brings over two decades of business, retreat, and real estate experience to inspire people to expand their vision and prosperity on a global stage. Welcome, Holly. We are so excited to have you. And I'm gonna pass it to you to just kind of share some of your story with our listeners.

SPEAKER_03: 2:12

Oh, well, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. You ladies seem fun. I like fun. That's like my motto. If it's not fun, I'm not doing it.

SPEAKER_01: 2:20

Don't sign me up for it. Exactly. I'm not the person. Yeah, I like that.

SPEAKER_03: 2:24

I about fell with that motto though, because during COVID, we were just talking before, I almost died. And it's like, that was not fun. Exactly.

SPEAKER_02: 2:33

That was not fun.

SPEAKER_03: 2:34

Yeah. But that experience really shifted so much in my whole life up until now. I mean, it's been four years ago. Most people, you know, we all suffered from it. It's nobody's in fact, I've never been able to have anyone challenge me on the statement that I can't think of anything that the whole world didn't suffer from so quickly at the same time.

unknown: 2:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 2:54

Yeah. Everyone, you know, and maybe they didn't get it, but they were affected by it somehow, some way. It's something I almost like feel bad for the people that write the history books because that's gonna be some wild crap.

SPEAKER_02: 3:09

Absolutely. And I and I think we will see the results of it for years and years to come. Like we won't, because I both Natalie and I had kids in school during COVID. And so just kind of seeing how this generation of kids is have adapted and changed over it and the kids that have come through it. And and so, yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna be really interesting. It was definitely the the great world unifier because it's the only thing that everyone went through. Yeah. Or divider. Or divider. One of the two. Yes, exactly. I think there was a period of time where I felt like it did almost bring everybody together when I would get on and they'd have those concerts that were virtual, and people all over the world were on these concerts singing. And Andre Piccelley, when he was on the I think it was the Vatican steps, and he sang Ava Maria, and the and then they panned over all the cities and they were empty. And it was such an eerie, weird, beautiful thing. So yeah. Yeah. So share your story about COVID because that's yeah, I mean, I had it, but I had very mild symptoms. Everyone was so different on how they were impacted.

SPEAKER_03: 4:18

So yeah, no rhyme or reason to it for sure. I never even thought I'd get it. Not that I thought I was above it or anything. I just was super healthy. And in fact, I had zero medical records at the hospital when they when I checked in. And within the first 30 days I was in the first hospital, there was 422 on my app. So, like just in 30 days. So they just had no baseline to go by, you know, to have to go through like the anxiety of not being able to breathe. I mean, I just it's funny the nurses would say to my sisters, like, are you sure she wasn't on anxiety medicine? And they're like, She was on no drugs when she walked in here. And they're like, She's really bad. And you know, I couldn't really talk. And it was like, let me take your oxygen away and let's see how you react. Yes. Yeah, I agree. So I was home for I got I got the Delta Virgin at a conference, and they did all the right things. I mean, sure, I probably hugged people because I'm a hugger, but you know, I just I wasn't gonna live in that fear anymore. We were just starting to get back to things. It was a conference I went to every year, and I got the Delta Virgin, came home on the airplane. I always think how many people I infected on that plane. I had no idea that I had it. I tested finally, like this was Sunday night, tested Tuesday. I got up Tuesday morning before I found out I had it, and I had a pitch to a company. I was starting a new company called Retreat R, and it was for retreat leaders, and I was pitching to a company to partner with, and they had a billionaire backer. So, like, I was not gonna cancel that. You know, when you you know you ever put your we're women, so you put your makeup on and it's melting off as fast as you know.

SPEAKER_01: 5:59

Make your hair bigger and more makeup and more lipstick, and you're good to go. Let's go. Yeah, yes.

SPEAKER_03: 6:03

It was Zoom, it was about nine people, and I just said, Hey, full disclosure, I'm just not at my best today. I think I've got the flu, but I didn't want to reschedule. We'd already rescheduled once or twice, and I'm like, no, this is happening. So I went ahead and did it, and you know, I knew they loved it. I knew it was gonna go further, but then I ended up down. We were in a in an RV, fifth will, waiting for our house to close that we had under contract. We had sold our house, and so we were living in my dad's backyard, which sounds weird, but it it's like a spa. I mean the guy, it's like staying at a resort, you know. It was really we weren't roughing it too bad, but it was such close quarters, and so I brought it to my husband. He had it for a couple days. We were in there for a week, wouldn't let anyone come in or talk to us other than the phone, leave us food on the floor on the steps. I don't remember eating it, I don't really remember anything that week. And then day seven, I I just woke him up about 4 30 in the morning, and I'm pretty intuitive anyway. But I was like, I knew I was in trouble. Felt like an elephant sitting on my chest. I said, We need to go to the hospital now. We didn't call an ambulance because we didn't want to give it to anybody. And so he drives us there somehow because he was about two days behind me in his journey, and he never got hospitalized, but he was on oxygen, had blood clots, and so drops me off at the front of the hospital, goes to park, and they already had me on my way to the ICU that quick by the time he got in the door. So they're like, Yeah, you can't go see her because you have COVID, you you can't go up there. So I didn't see him for three and a half weeks, and that was really tough. I feel sorry for the people though, before that, couldn't have any visitors, people died alone, and so there were a lot of like tender mercies in my story, even though it was hard and challenging. I could have one person every 24 hours. I have twin sisters just younger than me, and they just stepped right up to the plate. They lived in the same town, they're the busiest ones in my you know family of 11. They were just there. I mean, they were there 24-7. And it's funny for as independent as I am, I needed them there. Like, I don't know if it was for the hope to give me hope for accountability to help with the, you know, make sure there's nurses doing what they're supposed to be doing, when they're supposed to be doing it, just all kinds of crazy things. And so I had 70 days. I got checked in. That was my first day of 70 in the hospital, two hospitals. I had two intubations, a trachea, sepsis, another life-threatening infection. I don't know the name too, but they said that probably would take me out more than the COVID. So you knew it was bad. You know, just hanging on for dear life. They kept me in a coma probably about 30 days off and on, self-induced. And I was really glad because I had lost all five senses. So when let me tell you what that looks like. Oh my gosh. Your senses, how important they are. If you wear glasses and they break, or contacts and they rip. Yeah. My hands, they they tie them to a bed, like they tie them when down below when you're on a ventilator because they don't want you to pull it out.

SPEAKER_02: 9:03

Yeah, that would make sense.

SPEAKER_03: 9:04

Yeah. So they had my hands tied, so I had couldn't touch anything, and then taste and smell were gone from COVID, and I'm way past legally blind. And so I without correction, I couldn't see who anyone was unless they're about eight inches in front of my face. And then they all were wearing yellow hats and masks and everything and glasses. Most of them I was sit looking at some pictures the other day, and I'm like, all my respiratory people had glasses on. I don't know if they were maybe they were safety glasses for COVID. I don't know. But they all looked the same. I mean, you can't tell who's who. So that was it was scary, you know. And then the ventilator took like 90% of my hearing away, so everybody sounded like the Charlie Brown school teacher. It was a scary place to be. So when I was put in on sedation and stuff, I was I was happy because I was going to some awesome places and didn't have to deal with reality.

SPEAKER_02: 9:56

So okay, so 70 days in, lost all your senses basically. And then was your husband ever admitted into the hospital? Or did they he just do it at home? He just kind of went.

SPEAKER_03: 11:04

Yeah, he, I mean, he could have been, but you know, we like I didn't go for a week because I didn't want to be in there. I'm more of a natural healer, and I mean, I got every drug on the planet. He was on oxygen for a little while and he had some blood clots, and I think he would have gotten better faster if he wouldn't have been worried about me. Yeah, but our kids are race, so we're empty nesters, and so it's just him, him and me. And and then to know your, you know, your significant others in there and you can't even see them. That would be very, very scary. And then you know the rest of your family too. Yeah, I got the trachea like three and a half weeks, like the 23rd, 24th day, and that's the first day he saw me. So he never saw me on a ventilator, which is probably good.

SPEAKER_02: 11:45

That's probably good.

SPEAKER_03: 11:45

You know, luckily we have Zoom and FaceTime, and we were able to do things like that, but and we have eight adult children, so there was a lot of grandkids. So you have eight kids, and you're one of 11 kids. So I'm one of nine kids, 11 with my parents. Okay. We raised A, and we have now we have almost 19 grandkids, but then we probably had 16 or 17. Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_02: 12:09

So then so you've got all your kids worrying about you and your husband, and then you've got all your siblings, your parents, and oh my gosh. So you went through some pretty significant issues through that 70 days in the hospital and a couple of experiences that you had. Are you willing to share those with us?

SPEAKER_03: 12:29

First of all, I want to explain what they are, their differences, because it took me, I think, two years after I got out of the hospital to even understand. I hear that it takes about 10 years to unpack everything from like a near-death experience. So I'm only four years in, so I feel like I'm still getting more, which is so cool that I realize things all the time. But so there's out-of-body experiences, and then there's near-death experience, and then there's spiritual transformative experience. So they call that STE, NDE, OBE is the names. Well, I didn't know they were any different. And my STE, the spiritual one, I thought was an N D E. Like I thought I had two of those till I realized they they were different. And the spiritual one, I'll I'll share with you because I don't know what your who your listeners, if they're spiritual. I mean, God's my higher power more than ever now. And I respect anything anybody else believes in totally. But when I speak, that's what it is for me. And I was about, let's see, it was in my spiritual experience was my last experience, and I'll share why. So I had a cousin that's like a sister cousin, and she sent a text to my whatever sister was there that day and just said, Hey, I had this really spiritual experience, and I normally wouldn't text it, but she lived in a different state, and she says, I know Holly's not doing very well right now, and I really think she needs to hear this. Will you please read it to her? And the gist of it was she had been praying for my husband and I, that our well-being, and all these spirits surrounded her, and she asked one by one who they were and listed all their names, and you know, basically letting letting me know how much support we have from the other side. Ugh, still chokes me up. And so I got put back in sedation, and I remember being, I was at first at reading, I'm like, that's great, wow, how special, you know. But then I got ticked off. I was like, my prayers were really changing at that point. I mean it was weeks in. I mean, this is probably three and a half, four weeks in. I'm getting pretty burned out from fighting, you know. And I was praying that to God, if if you're not gonna get me better, then get me out of here. And you know, kind of be careful what you wish for. The other thing I was thinking was, this isn't fair. Why did she get that? And I didn't. I'm the one suffering. And who comes when you're in trouble when you're little to scold you, mommy? Well, my mama passed away about 18 months before this. I was in the hospital, and she had been at my side on my right side. She'd come a lot, but I'd never really like, like I knew she was there as a presence, but this time she spoke to me. And so she came to my side and um probably to put me in check, my red-headed self, and she said, It's not, it's not your time to be here, and you need to fight. And when she said the word fight, I'm laying in my bed, and above me come all of my ancestors who had passed away, all in white. So, grandparents, aunts, uncles, my brother had passed away in a really bad car wreck, and then his wife had a car wreck a couple years before that. I had lost a grandbaby like just five months earlier, at two days old. She was an adult though, she was like early 20s, I would say, but I knew it was her. And um, that was really special. And then they all started chanting, fight, fight, fight. And when as they did it, every time the word would get spoken, a whole new group of people would appear behind them and start chanting. And now they're in street clothes, so I understand they're alive, you know, the white, the white people are all the passed on, those street clothes. And they just start, and I just kept going, you know, my husband comes, the kids come, the siblings come, the friends come, and then I start seeing like thousands of people. Like if you took a two-way mirror and could just look as far as you could see people, and I just thought, wow, it was just so defining for me to know that oh, got it. All I gotta do is fight. I I'm gonna live, but I need to fight. And that's the support team I have behind me. And later I realized all those other people, I mean, it was remember, we're hanging on to social media at that point, you know, that was our lifeline. And so my sister updating on my Facebook account, for instance, was how they even knew if I was alive. And so hundreds of people would comment on every time she'd post. They thought she was posting every day. I hear it all the time, and maybe, maybe once a week, maybe twice. She said, because there wasn't a lot of change. Some weeks, nothing. I wasn't better and it wasn't worse. And I think those were all those prayer chains I was on. All those, all those people there were the ones that were praying for me in behalf of me because of other people. And I saw all of them. And so, anyway, that was kind of a a really cool experience. The out-of-body ones, they're funny. I mean, they're kind of creepy too, just to sum some of those up. I went back in time most of the time in out of body. So, out of body is when you basically are out and you leave and you go on a journey. So, like some people can do that in meditation, astral traveling, different things like that. I knew nothing about any of that. Well, with me, I knew I was sick and I knew that body. So sometimes I would see my body in there and I would be able to watch it, and I knew I wasn't doing well. But I think I thought if I went on my journey, I wouldn't get my body back. So I just took my whole bed and we went on my journeys and I took it with me. And so I didn't stay in my bed most of the time, but I was, I remember most of the time I had my bed. But I went back about into a pioneer house, and it's only about 15 minutes from where I live right now. I knew I had been there before, and I thought it was a relative. It ended up being a great, great, great grandfather's home. And he lived there some of the time, off and on. I always went to this little Perwin, Utah town and was in there. And I mean, there was some weird stuff that happened there, but I did go present time a couple times, and there's some stories around that, and then, but I never did go in the future. Like it was always out of body, was either right at that time, something was happening, but somewhere else. Like, for instance, one time I was in the hospital and a couple doors down from me, my ex-brother-in-law, his brother, was also in the ICU. Same thing. He'd pulled out his ventilator a couple times, and I knew he was a smoker, just not healthy, and stuff. And I remember standing at his door looking in his window, and I knew he was gonna die. Like, just to know that be and he did, and um, just some experiences like that.

SPEAKER_01: 19:06

But anyway, and and these out-of-body, did is that what you experienced first? Because you said like the spiritual experience is what you experienced on the end, right? That was your last one of the that was my last experience.

SPEAKER_03: 19:16

No one might live. Yeah, the out-of-body were probably the first three ish weeks or so. The near death I know was it was between my first and second intubation. So, like day anywhere from day six to day 10 because when I went on that one, so I'll tell you, I'll I'll sum that one up. Sorry, I have to think how to tell it short. There are long stories. So that one I left in my bed and I was going down the hospital hallway this time, and I got up, like sat up kind of, and shook my finger at the nurse's station and said, I rescind my DNR, I rescind my DNR, which is do not resuscitate, which I don't even know for sure if I had one. I know I had to sign a bunch of things for them to put the ventilator in me, like half dead, you're signing things. And so that was my journey. And I go down the hallway, and all these other beds are going down the hallway with me, which now I know were other people dying in the hospital because half of the people were dying. So I ended up in this big stadium. I call the Stadium of Light, and I tell this whole story in my book, but all these stories. But they I'm in there with thousands of people again, probably hundreds of thousands, but I could tell like people were stacked on each other and they were all wearing like really white or light clothing, and I could see feet. So I knew nobody was like on the ground, and there was all this communication going telepathically, like light speed. So if I if I had a thought, I had an answer before my thought was almost even complete. Like it was just I have a gift of knowing before it's probably enhanced, yes. And if people listening have that gift, you know what I'm saying. When people say, How do you know that? You just know when you have that, that's just one of your gifts. You just know something. It's not that you're psychic or anything like maybe you are, but just say it. I I was just like, you just know things. It was like that, it was like the gift now of all knowing, and you could just uh experience everything. So I had a concert in there, is what I called it. It was angelic music, and I I knew the words to every song, even though I'd never heard them before, but I think the the knowing is why. And then I saw a live review, and then I was told, and I'm telling you really quickly this story. I was told to do a couple things. I was told to go start this nonprofit called Adventure Bucket Wish with no other assignment, nothing attached to it, no mission, just the name. And I was told, remember that that partnership I wanted to do when I pitched? I was told not to partner with them very clearly. It was like, that is not the highest and best thing to do for the company. It's going to take you longer, but it needs to be yours. Do not do it. And it's interesting because I found out just this last year a bunch of things now of why, why. You know, sometimes you just don't know what you don't know, and later you find out and you're like, man, I'm glad I followed my intuition, or man, I'm glad I listened to that answer, to that prayer that I didn't want, you know, things like that. Anyway, so then I was just sent back. And when I came back, um, I didn't get a choice. And so here I am back in my body. My sister Jill was in there with me. I was doing better, and so she left and ran an errand, came back, and then I came out. And she said, I had to spell on an alphabet and I had to point at the letters because and I could barely do it because I just didn't have any energy. Sometimes it took two hours for one word, and I'd be so exhausted. I'd be like, forget it. Just put me back in a coma, you know?

SPEAKER_02: 22:37

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03: 22:38

And so I'm spelling to her K I D, and she's like, trying to help. Oh, you want me to tell your kids something? No, N A P. And she's like, When you spelled kidnap, she says, First, I looked around the room and I was like, What just happened? They I just ran an errand, you know what? She goes, I wanted to get the garbage can and throw up. I was so like, what happened? Right then, she didn't. That's all she got. And then the doctor walked in with the nurse to exhibate me because I was doing great because I'd just come back, you know. And they took the tubes out, and then she said you could talk, but not very well. There were still spirits in my room, but nope, I realized quickly nobody could sand but me. The doctor leaves, and then it's like that's kind of the end of that part, but I never could figure out like why was I kidnapped? Why did I just come from heaven and now I'm saying I got kidnapped? I didn't find that answer out till two years later. Wow. So you want that story? Yes. What is the answer to? Leave us hanging. This is like the best. It was almost like another near-death experience, even though it was under hypnosis. So, first of all, I incorporated within about between three and four months the nonprofit, got the 501c3 in like 25 days. So many miracles to my story. I mean, I never had medical insurance my whole life till two months before and ended up with a million-dollar hospital bill. Like just lots of things happened, some crazy stuff. Not crazy, but special things. Okay, so then I had what I call the two years of hell, which was really only about a year and eight or nine months. But you know, it's eternity when you're going through it. Everything went wrong. You think everybody would gravitate to you because you almost died, and it was like I repelled everyone, and I had family issues. I had stuff going on with grandkids and DCFS, and I had to hire two attorneys. And I mean, every bad day in my life times a thousand is what it felt like every day. I prayed every day I would have died. I was like, why would you save me to put me through this hell? I know now, looking back, that they were lessons I had to learn and lessons I had to go through for the philanthropy work I'm choosing to do and the, you know, that I'm planning, you know, that's a plan. So I get it now. But at the time it was awful. So after the two years, I found IANS, which is International Association for Near Death Studies, and I went to their conference. I had a I went as a vendor, and so I learned a little bit. That's how I found out about other OBEs and STEs, and that's how I found there was a difference. So that was great. And then I asked my friend if he'd do a hypnosis session. I had been trained already, so I was very well well aware of the process. He agreed, and so here's the rest of the story. So we go to do it on the near-death experience, and it takes I'm thinking I'm going to revisit this greatest concert I'd ever been to in the stadium of light. Oh no, I end up in the in-between, is what I call it. It wasn't dark and it wasn't light. So the dark is on the right, and the light is on the left, and there's matter floating around, which also was in the stadium of light, and you but you could see through it. So it's like my senses are enheightened in the stadium of light, but there was also like matter, like clear, but you like fog, but you could see through it. Everything was really clear. In between, it was like cobalt blue and silver and gray and black and all this icky colors, dark colors. And so then he said, What is there an entity there? We realized there is. He, through me, talks to the entity, finds out his name's Darby, he wants my light, he can't have it, he can't go to the light, he just wants my light. So he took me. Well, there's the kidnapping. I still didn't figure this out till about a year ago, believe it or not. That's why I got kidnapped because when I went from the hallway of the hospital to the stadium, skybox, I felt like there was this there was stuff missing. Well, he took me then. So I didn't get to the stadium until later. That was the end of the story.

SPEAKER_00: 26:26

Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience Podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas to fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes, and of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.