Life's Challenges + Resilience with Shannon Hawkins (part 1)

Ever find yourself scrambling to keep up with your day because you forgot your glasses or your clocks are all wrong? Natalie Davis and Pamela Cass share their hilarious misadventures with time changes and the everyday chaos that tests our resilience. This episode of Reignite Resilience takes you on a journey through these relatable mishaps, showcasing the laughter and strength that help us bounce back. We are thrilled to welcome Shannon Hawkins, a Charleston-based interior designer, who shares her powerful story of resilience. From a career in medicine to embracing her passion for design, Shannon’s life was profoundly shaped by the tragic murder of her father. Her courageous pivot led to the founding of One Life Coaching, where she empowers others to live purposefully and master their own lives.

Our conversation deepens as we explore personal growth through life’s challenges, from the joys and trials of raising children to the transformative power of empathy, particularly in sensitive issues like abortion and adoption. The episode highlights the importance of embracing one's past hardships and using them as catalysts for change. We tackle the essential theme of self-care, sharing personal experiences of how we learned to prioritize our own well-being amidst the demands of life and family. By setting boundaries and saying no when necessary, we underscore the path to authentic living and fulfillment. Join us for a heartfelt discussion that promises inspiration, insights on finding purpose, and the joy of positively impacting those around us.

About Shannon:
www.refreshsc.com
Premier Luxury Stager in Charleston, SC and Coach. Mom, Staging Queen andCoach. Wife, mom of 2 and Lovie to my granddaughter 🩷

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Chapters

• 0:06 Resilience Through Life's Challenges
• 11:26 Overcoming Challenges to Find Success
• 25:04 Embracing Self-Care for Personal Growth

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. Resilience where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Natalie Davis: 0:41

Welcome back to another episode of reignite resilience Resilience. I'm your co-host, natalie Davis, and I am so excited to be back with you all today, and joining me is Pam Kass. Pam, how are you? You know what I'm good and it's hilarious.

Pam Cass: 0:55

We all jumped on this today and our lighting is all kind of funky, and then we just rabbit hole of talking about the time that we shall not mention yes, why is it that we still put ourselves through this twice?

Natalie Davis: 1:10

why, voluntarily, we choose to do this?

Pam Cass: 1:13

yes, I'm just I. It takes me back to when I was, my kids were young and just going through the time change and how much it completely just derailed everybody for like everything oh my gosh absolutely for teaching, and now that I'm in my 40s, I know how babies feel right. I just I think these shenanigans need to be done and maybe we'll start a movement on our podcast it started here it started here.

Natalie Davis: 1:44

I still get a little bit of anxiety whenever we change the clocks, because when I was that student, you know, I was that grade school student that thought I'm going to be the only kid whose parents changed the clocks. Why are they here changing the clocks? I'm going to get to school late, like that was always me. I mean, thank goodness for technology and you don't even have to change your clock.

Pam Cass: 2:03

I mean, thank goodness for technology and you don't even have to change your clock, you don't have to touch anything, does it for you.

Shannon Hawkins: 2:08

But that's it. Well, my car did not, and so I got in my car today and all of a sudden, I'm like no, it's, I want to look at my phone. You're good. I need Ford to pick up on that and start changing our clocks in our cars.

Natalie Davis: 2:24

We've got chips for everything else. I feel that there should be a chip that automatically changes Hashtag Ford and every other car dealer out there.

Pam Cass: 2:32

Yes, let's take care of that, because I know my car changed over. But I think we start the movement.

Natalie Davis: 2:42

Let's get it changed so that we don't have to go through these. We don't need this type of resilience in our lives, multiple weeks of it to adjust.

Pam Cass: 2:48

Agreed, agreed, so I'm doing good, you're here on time.

Shannon Hawkins: 2:52

I'm here. We made it.

Natalie Davis: 2:54

Yes, now that we're going to put that soapbox to the side, y'all, just to let you know. Like, I got on the call with Pam and I was like where are my glasses? And I got on the call with Pam and I was like where are my glasses? And we it's that moment, where are my glasses? They were sitting on my head, like on the top of my head. I had moved them out of the way. Anyways, we are all. We are here and we are happy to be here and we are here for our listeners and that other voice that you hear. That is not Pam and I. We have a special guest today. So, pam, why don't you tell our listeners.

Pam Cass: 3:23

who's joining us? I know I'm so excited about this. So today we have joining us Shannon Hawkins. She is a Charleston based interior designer who takes pride in her ability to transform spaces by bringing ideas and inspiration to life. After 15 years in the medical field, she decided it was time for a career change and decided to tap into her lifelong love of design. Since a young age, she has loved design and has developed a keen eye for creating awe-inspiring surroundings. Shannon is also adept in finding creative ways to help budget-conscious clients design their dream spaces. But you've got such a bigger story and a story that I'm so excited for you to share with our listeners today about resilience, so I'm going to hand it to you. Shannon, thank you so much for being here.

Shannon Hawkins: 4:11

Yes. So thank you all for inviting me. I feel extremely honored to be here with you all and to share a little bit about my past and my present and my present. So we talked about going far back. As I can remember to sort of give my stadium pitch, which is what we call it in the coaching world, which basically is how you attract who you want to be around. Is how I see it. I think everybody views a stadium pitch differently, but for me it was like who do I want my tribe to be? And so I think when you're figuring that out in your career in the coaching world, you decide how far back you want to go.

Shannon Hawkins: 4:54

And for me, my entire everything, the trajectory of that changed when my dad was murdered. I was young, my mom and dad were just such sweethearts and loved each other immensely and Charleston of all places. My dad came to work and found himself in a situation that he did not know how to get out of and ran and was killed. So that really just set the tone, in my opinion, for the rest of my life and how I was going to treat this one life that I have. Really quick, I'll let you know that when I started coaching and I'm so excited about it and I knew that God had that for me and I knew that's what I wanted to do.

Shannon Hawkins: 5:46

But I could not figure out what to name my business. And I was just laying in bed one night and I thought I've got one life, I've got one chance to get it right, and it hit me that that's what I needed to name my coaching business. So my coaching business is called One Life Coaching and I teach people how to master their dash right. So when you look at a headstone, you see the day you were born, the day you died, but the dash in the middle is what really matters.

Shannon Hawkins: 6:16

And so that is my lifelong mission now is to teach people how to master their dash. No matter what has happened, you can make it really great. And so, anyway, going back to my dad dying, obviously my mom was pitiful for years and years. She raised a great kid and I love her for everything she did for me. I spent a lot of time with my grandparents as well, and without them I would not be the person I am today. I just they all. It was a team effort, and I think any mom listening understands how it takes a village, and that is the truth.

Shannon Hawkins: 7:00

So I would say I had a really good life. You know, everybody did the best they could. I was happy. All the things had great Christmases I mean, every Sunday we all ate together and it was all just very beautiful.

Shannon Hawkins: 7:13

And that changed my 10th grade year of high school Really. Summer going into 11th grade, I modeled and loved it and found myself in a situation that was not okay with me, I'll say that. And a few months later I found out that I was pregnant. I was three months when I found out and so that was besides my dad passing, which I was very young. To this point, my life had been great, right. So the dash was good to that point, all the good things. And then there was the sandwich, right. So you've got my dad dying the really good stuff in the middle, and then we've got this end piece of bread, and it was awful to go through that at such a young age.

Shannon Hawkins: 8:14

I think there were just so many questions of why me? How am I going to do it? You know, I watched my mom raise me by herself and I knew how hard it was for her. And how in the world am I going to make this work for this baby. You know, giving him up was never an option for me. I just had a fantastic family and support group and I knew that they would be there. But I won't lie and say there weren't times that I thought would he be better off without me? Right, I'm 16. I'm going to have him when I'm 17. And I don't even know how I want to wear my hair from day to day, right, like, how in the world am I going to take care of this person? And I, the doctor that I feel like God put in front of me. I couldn't have done it without her. I'll go back to her in a little bit just to tell you a really great God wink. So I just decided this is just happening. God doesn't make mistakes. This was supposed to be part of my story. I'm just going to love this baby with all I've got, and that was all I had was love. You know, I'll never forget it. I had three names picked out for him. And man, the connection you feel with your kids when they're in utero, but especially when you've gone through a situation, like I went through, where there was not joy in the process of making a baby. It was awful and heart-wrenching and so I'll never forget the doctor. He was born and she looked at him, she held him and she was like I know what you got to name him. And she said he's definitely. And she said it. And I was like, well, that's his name, that's that's his name. And so she was just like a sister to me.

Shannon Hawkins: 10:19

Through that and going through that, I learned very quickly at a young age where you have to really hone in on all those really sweet moments and all those God winks. I call them now and I look for them every day, all day. I'm like, oh, that was a God girl. I don't call them coincidences at all. You know they're not. You know they're, they're not.

Shannon Hawkins: 10:42

So I just remember like thinking when, when she was my doctor and going through all this and basically my counselor, like this is a God link and for the first time and I grew up in a Baptist church but I really felt like God was with me, like I really felt like he was right there through her, and so I obviously kept him, with the support of my family, raised an amazing guy that you know serves our country well and his family well, and he's now a dad and it's just such a sweet thing to witness. Like you see something so terrible whatever you think is going to be so terrible, the situation turned into something so beautiful. And I look at him. I have two boys and I'm very proud of them. This is just the story of one, but I love them so much and you think the world needed him. Like he's such a freaking cool dude that I'm like in those moments as a 16 year old where you're like how in the world, and what is this kid going to turn out like, and how am I going to clothe him and all the things. And then I look at him now and I'm like man, we did good. And I tell him I'm like we did good. You, you and I grew up together. Man, like you've seen me in the deepest, deep, the darkest of dark, and you loved me anyway. And how does that like resonate with how the Lord loves us? Right, how our kids see us is probably the closest thing to God loving us this side of heaven. Let's be honest, right, so he is just. You know, I look at it now.

Shannon Hawkins: 12:37

People like man, how'd you get through that? Like, I know somebody that's been through a similar situation and she had an abortion. I know somebody that's been through a similar situation and gave her baby up. And I'm like, listen, I am not here to judge. I have been in those thoughts For me. They were fleeting, but it doesn't mean it's that for everybody. I am a no judge, like if you've met me, they were fleeting, but it doesn't mean it's that for everybody. I am a no judge, like if you've met me, you know I'll just hug you and love you. Yeah right, there's no judging.

Shannon Hawkins: 13:06

And so when I do hear situations like that and I do feel like my story has helped a lot of people in those moments I'm like, hey, you had an abortion, I love you and Jesus loves you, and that was where what you had to do and it is nobody's in your head and guess what? You're going to see your baby again and how beautiful is that, you know. And to the mamas that give their babies up for adoption, I understand when you're scared. You're. There's such a love there that you're like I can't, I can't do it. I love this person enough to say I'm not the person for you. Let me bless another family. I get it like when you're thinking about a stadium pitch or what's going to help ignite your life and your story.

Shannon Hawkins: 14:05

You got to dig deep and that was you know again, other than my dad passing. That was the lowest of the low for me, and so I go there and that helps me. I'm like, well, I don't do anything. I can have a baby at 17 and raise an amazing person and go on to have another child eight years later and he's amazing. I don't do anything. You want to coach, I'll coach you. You want me to do what? I'll do it.

Shannon Hawkins: 14:35

A lot of people back. And what holds people back, natalie and I think you would agree with this, we learned about this in coaching camp this summer is John Maxwell says it best. No, I'm sorry, that was not John Maxwell, that was Joel Nymph, which was at a summit last week that I heard he said God can't bless who he doesn't know. So when you're not being true to who you really are right. If you're not going to that deep spot and saying this is what made me this right here, made Shannon Hawkins God can't bless it. You got to own it, sister. I mean, you have got to own it.

Shannon Hawkins: 15:16

So when you're in those moments of, hey, I want to make a career change. Hey, I want to go from the medical field, which is what I did for years, to staging homes, because I love to make things beautiful. What's going to get me there? I got to dig deep and I got to realize, if I can overcome this, that I overcame right, then I can surely do this and being excited about the process I mean, it's ugly at times. People aren't nice, let's be honest. We're all around not nice people, but that's not what's important, right. What's important is being true to yourself, right, what's important is being true to yourself, loving yourself for all the things that you've been through, because they make us who we are and we're all beautiful. And going for it. Like when I decided, hey, I love what I do, but I don't like it. Right, I love being around, I love helping.

Shannon Hawkins: 16:21

So if you ask anybody that knows me really well, what does Shannon love to do? Like, help people, anybody, I'll just help you. I mean, I saw on Facebook the other day somebody was asking for some construction help. They had met this grandmother that bought this dilapidated trailer. She was raising her grandson. They had no furniture. I'm like, hey, I can't lay hardwood floors, but I'll furnish your house. I mean, I love to help people, but I just I wasn't digging it anymore, you know, you just, I think everybody at some point in their careers like I'm not really digging this, you know, but it's. What do you do with that? For me, I didn't want to live the rest of my life not digging what I was doing, not like, really like, and I did it well, but my heart just wasn't in it anymore, kind of going through the motions and I thought I've always loved to decorate.

Shannon Hawkins: 17:15

I go to my friends' houses and I'm like let me move this for her because, girlfriend, I've had friends call me before and they're like Shannon, where's such and such? I'm like, do it in trash, Thank me later Like you don't put it under the kitchen counter, you don't? Oh my gosh. So I thought, why not, Like I'm still helping people, Right? I thought why not Like I'm?

Shannon Hawkins: 17:40

still helping people right. I'm helping them get from one season of their life to another, if they're downsizing or upsizing or whatever, but I don't have to deal with it in the way that, like I'm dealing with, like patient's parents or a mad person over a bill or whatever, and so I just thought, yeah, that's, we're doing this thing. So it all worked out really beautifully.

Shannon Hawkins: 18:06

I was doing it for friends and family. My husband lost his job November's kind of weird for us because it was two days before Thanksgiving and so we kind of knew it was coming. But it's still like how do you be thankful for that? And so we moved to Charleston and so he took a job here with the city of Charleston and I was like now's as good a time as any. We're just going to get her done.

Shannon Hawkins: 18:36

And so we had furniture, we had a storage unit. We're like, let's do this. And then comes Natalie knows we talk about this a lot my intrusive thoughts. There's other stagers in Charleston, shannon. They're better than you. They've been here a long time. They got more money than you got. They know the real estate companies that are big on staging. You're never going to make it. Never going to make it. You're just you're. You're a. You're a little fish in a big old pond and it's not going to work. And so I again, you go back to. But I've overcome something even greater than that. Yeah, right, so it's the fear of yourself, right, it's the self-doubt and all those intrusive thoughts. And I've gotten and that's what I coach on now is like don't have intrusive thoughts.

Shannon Hawkins: 19:30

This is what we need to do, and so we did it. That man drove me around in our Honda Odyssey minivan and helped me market and we grew this company now to be, as far as I know, the largest staging company in the Southeast. Couldn't have done it without him. He never went to work at the job that he took. He runs our warehouses. I mean, if that's not God, move you to a city where you know no one and say here you go, and so it's just been beautiful. It's been a lot of work. Sometimes I'm like man, was it easier at the hospital?

Natalie Davis: 20:09

Of course, compared to being an entrepreneur, a hundred percent was easier.

Shannon Hawkins: 20:14

So that's the thing is. Even when I was doing something that I loved and loved all you know, everybody that I worked with there was just always something missing. But for me, it's that I don't want to work for anybody else. That's it.

Shannon Hawkins: 20:28

I do very well, setting my own schedule. My lunch is when I want. I mean, I just I don't like to be bossed, and that's good, because my husband's not bossy and so I'm kind of the bossy one. But you know, again, you, those intrusive thoughts and they, they happen in your whole life and sometimes they can prevent you from doing really great, amazing, beautiful things. And you don't. Nobody else is saying this to us. Yeah, it's us. Yeah.

Shannon Hawkins: 21:00

So we're like standing in our own way thinking, oh well, those other stagers like this or that, or these other designers, they don't care about me, they don't, they don't. You know, natalie, other real estate agents, you're not on their radar. Other coaches you're not Like, you're doing your thing and you make you you right. So somebody that you could coach is not my avatar, right, they're not, they're just not. So I think it's just so important for women, especially in a male-dominant industry like real estate, to. If you feel like it was put on your heart, just go for it. Figure out what the worst thing that happened to you was that you overcame, and think about that.

Shannon Hawkins: 21:46

You don't dwell on it, you don't, you know, wake up every morning and relive that horrible moment and then realize that I was going to be a 16-year-old mom. It's just that outcome. Right, the dash, the got through it and we have dashes all through our life. Right, there's a start to finish with everything. I started my medical career, ended my medical career. The dash was beautiful, it is what you make it. So I would say, if you've got listeners or if you've got friends that are thinking about God, really I want to get into graphic design or I want to get into laying carpet.

Shannon Hawkins: 22:24

Whatever you feel like you should be doing, don't stand in your way. You're just going to trip over your feet, right? You're just tripping over your feet. Just hone in on it and do it, you know, and the intrusive thoughts are going to come. That's human nature. It will happen. You just have to figure out how to switch it, and that's what I coach on a lot.

Shannon Hawkins: 22:46

My avatar I thought would be, you know, designers and stagers, and it's turned out to be single moms. It was not even on my radar, but you think of my stadium pitch. It's like God's like, hold on a second. You're not, we're not. We're not tracking and it's been wonderful. And you know I'm helping them start their own businesses. They're getting out of the corporate world because they want to spend more time with their families and it's just a beautiful thing. So no, I'm not perfect. I still trip over my own feet sometimes, but I'm trying to master my dash. I'm trying to just make the story as beautiful as I can, when I thought my life was over. That's how you feel and it's not. It was just beginning and it's been a fun ride. Love that.

Natalie Davis: 23:33

Yeah, beautiful, that is beautiful. Well, and I feel like there's so much in between and we're going to unpack it, because around what age were you when your dad passed away? I was two, two years old, and so your I mean your younger childhood years filled with joy, happiness, that's how you describe that Like it was great. You knew, something occurred, you knew there was a missing piece and mom was different. Right, that's just and that. How could you not be?

Shannon Hawkins: 24:03

right, absolutely. How could you not be?

Natalie Davis: 24:05

yes, well, and those are the pieces that I think we don't really acknowledge or have as much or deep appreciation for. Until we're in that spot right like, we're moms and we have kids and we understand life will come at us and we still show up with a smile, with snacks at the ball field, with dinner on the table, with a hug at the end of the day. Right Like, we still have this expectation and inside it's just trying to keep sand in our hands. Right Like oh my gosh, if we can just keep it together with our kids.

Shannon Hawkins: 24:38

I think that it's very important as mamas, and if you're not a mom, I still think this applies. Or if you're not a dad, I still think it applies, because of life, right, but you're right, it's like you're holding all this sand for everybody. It's like field trip and somebody's got to have lunch money and I've got to be here at three and somewhere else at 4.30 and they're two hours apart and I don't know how it's going to happen. It's a whole thing, yeah, but what? So many people, myself included, right? So my youngest is now a senior in high school and Shannon's just getting her groove back.

Shannon Hawkins: 25:16

Yes, yeah, I should never have lost it, right. So, yes, I should never have lost it, right. So, yes, you should show up for your babies. Yes, you should try to be at all the things. Yes, you should eat lunch with your girlfriends once a month or do a dinner club. I get it. But if you're not taking care of number one, nobody's rushing in to take me to get a pedicure. Nobody, nobody's like Shannon, you haven't had a pedicure in three months. Let's fix that. Nobody's doing that. So if I could go back which I know we can't and change one thing about the way that I parented and was a wife. It would be that I should have looked at myself more, because nobody else was. I mean I tell my kids all the time, you know we talk a lot. I mean my boys and I are very close and I'm like y'all realize this is my only life too, right, mm-hmm, like I'm not just the mom, like I'm Shannon. I used to, I used to like, like I'm Shannon.

Natalie Davis: 27:19

I used to.

Shannon Hawkins: 27:20

I used to like smoke cigarettes and drink nasty beer with my friends, you know, yeah, fun part of the dash, it is all part of the dash and and you know I mean mom, don't say that, please retract that statement but I wish that I had loved myself more, because had I, I would not have allowed myself to get to the point that I'm at now, which is like, oh my gosh, I gotta lose 50 pounds, I gotta I need Botox and like I get those, aging happens. But I let myself. I don't want to say go, I put myself on the back burner for far too long and I do. It's not a regret because those are. That's a wasted thought.

Shannon Hawkins: 28:10

I encourage people to start now, like if you're like, oh my, I'm so tired and you know, I'm just, I'm worn out and I, you know, can't have sex with my husband. I hear all this stuff. I can't have sex with my husband, I don't feel like going out with my girlfriends, I'm, you know, falling asleep in the carpool line. I'm like, girl, you need some self-care. And that doesn't mean a pedicure every month. That means an hour to two hours a day where you're just loving Shannon, where you're just loving Pam or you're just loving Natalie, and it's not selfish, because when you do that, you are literally going to be able to give your family your best right.

Shannon Hawkins: 28:49

I know, if I go get a massage at two and I can come home and shower and pick Zachary up from, you know, school at four, I'm like woo, get in the car, we're going out to dinner Like mom had a massage. You know we're listen. So I, you know. I would just encourage you, as people in general, don't put yourself on the back burner because nobody's coming to get you off, like nobody's coming there. You're there and they'll use you as long as you let them. You know. I mean, that's just the truth, and so I think being very mindful of your body is a gift and your brain is a gift and you got to take care of those gifts.

Pam Cass: 29:32

Absolutely. Yeah, it's so beautiful and it's something that we just weren't taught. No, you know, we were always. Whether you're a mom or a dad or a man or a woman, whatever it is, we've, we've always been taught take care of other people, take care of other people, you know. Then go to the job, support the family, take care of the family, wives stay, stay home, whatever it is, whatever that look like, don't. And then and I don't know for me for years I felt guilty if I did spend time doing for myself, and so it's taken me a long time to be able to say nope, I've got it on my calendar and I'm going to do that for myself, because I can be a better version of myself for my kids. I can be a better version of myself for my kids, my friends, my clients, for everybody.

Shannon Hawkins: 30:17

And I'll say this you know about my circle and my tribe For anybody that doesn't want that for me.

Shannon Hawkins: 30:25

Don't want to be included Anybody that doesn't want me to be the best version of myself. I don't have room for that, that's it. I can love you from a distance. I will hug you at Christmas time and tell you happy birthday, but I don't need to surround myself with people that don't want the best for me. Yeah, yeah. And that's also hard as a woman, because you just want to tell everybody. And that's also hard as a woman because you just want to tell everybody yes.

Shannon Hawkins: 30:51

And one of my quotes and I say it often is you cannot be the yes man and run anything successful whether that be your career, your marriage, your children, anything If you're just telling everybody yes all the time. Because at the end of the day, like're just worn out and there's just no quality like I'm. I'm in my 40s, you know. Like I said, I've got an older son. My youngest is about to graduate and I'm like we're about to get it, we listen, we are about to start having some fun and I'm like why did I wait till he's a senior in high school for having fun?

Shannon Hawkins: 31:31

But I do think a lot of for me personally, a lot of that, the yes comes from trauma. I want everybody to be happy and my husband says Shannon, you know like, my happiness isn't your responsibility. You know our kids' happiness is not your responsibility. Right? You've done your job as a mom. You taught them right from wrong. You loved them well, gave them all the things they need, and what they choose to do with it is up to them. So quit saying yes to everything. Say yes to yourself. I have one girl that I'm coaching now and I make her send me her calendar every week. I'm like I want to know what you're doing and I'm not stalking you like you know your location. I just want you to be honest and transparent about what you're doing. And I make her take herself on a date once a week. I'm like I don't even care if you don't spend money. Go to the park, Go get a coffee, Go whatever it is. You've got to learn to love yourself before you can love those well around you.

Natalie Davis: 32:38

Period.

Shannon Hawkins: 32:40

Just period. It doesn't get any more transparent than that. But again going back to stadium pitches and the things that happened that got me here, everybody's life needs to be unpacked on paper. I am a firm believer that you go back as far as you can remember and you write it down, and I don't care how ugly it is. I want you to write the really beautiful things in blue, because blue is a beautiful color, it reminds me of the ocean and that's just the color I picked. Want you to write the really beautiful things in blue, because blue is a beautiful color, it reminds me of the ocean and that's just the color I picked. And I want you to write the really bad things in black, right, and then we're gonna we're gonna leave some spaces right between the good and the bad and then we're gonna write those, write your thoughts about it, or your your pings I like to call them where it's like okay, that happened because of this and then it was beautiful. Or that happened because of this and it turned even worse, and we're going to write that in red and you own it and I.

Shannon Hawkins: 33:44

When people do that, they're like oh my god, I didn't realize it affected me like that till I saw it on paper. It's like writing a book and like who's going to read it. You know, man, if I wrote, if I wrote a book and published it, I would have people sending me money because they felt sorry for me. I'm not even kidding. They'd be like girl, we're going to pay your house off, we're going, we don't. We're. We're gonna pay your house off, we're gonna we don't. Look at it like that. I'm like I love who I am. I love I mean. Yes, were there traumatic things? Oh my gosh, would bring you to your knees if I went through all of it. But we've all got that. It's just what you do with it. And I decided I wanted my dash to be beautiful and I take all the beautiful and messy things and mix it all together and make it good.

Natalie Davis: 34:35

I think that's a fabulous exercise. So three colors in terms of the pen a blue one for the beautiful moments, a black one for the moments that you probably try to just sweep under the rug, and the red for the experiences, the ahas, the pings, the downloads, the impact, the way that it's impacted your life or continues to impact your life forever.

Shannon Hawkins: 34:58

You may not even realize. Yeah, I mean I carry trauma from my childhood with me now. Yeah, it's okay. It doesn't mean it's a trauma now, it just means it was and I'm aware of it, and so then it's what I choose to do with it Right now, exactly.

Natalie Davis: 35:18

At least giving yourself the space to acknowledge it. We hope that you have enjoyed part one of our two-part conversation with Shannon Hawkins. What an impeccable story her own personal journey and also sharing with us how she has learned to deal with trauma and facing it head on. Make sure that you come back and join us for part two, because we're going to continue to hear more about Shannon's story and a little insight of her son's own personal journey.

Speaker 1: 35:44

We'll see you soon. Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.