Emotional Awareness + Resilience with JJ Flizanes (part 2)

What if understanding your emotions could unlock a new level of resilience? Join us for a transformative episode with guest JJ Flizanes, where we explore the art of reigniting personal resilience by addressing our core wound patterns. Learn about the power of a feelings list to decode your emotions and uncover the unmet needs behind feelings like frustration and overwhelm. Through a relatable story of a young adult navigating external pressures, we highlight how recognizing needs for peace, space, and respect can lead to emotional management and strengthened resilience.

Embark on a compelling journey of self-discovery, guided by reflections on how past experiences and societal expectations shape our lives. I share my personal evolution from being a people pleaser to finding my own path, profoundly influencing my approach to parenting and relationships. We dive into the importance of autonomy and mutual growth, discussing when to realign or move on for personal well-being. As we ponder the evolving nature of consciousness, we encourage a reassessment of personal beliefs to ensure they align with one's true purpose and fulfillment.

Discover the transformative power of emotional awareness and empowerment. JJ Flizanes provides actionable insights into connecting with emotions, emphasizing the importance of identifying and addressing unmet needs. By taking responsibility for our own needs, we can escape cycles of blame and embrace personal growth. We advocate for a more empathetic approach to natural emotional expressions, especially in children, encouraging listeners to improve their emotional well-being through personal responsibility. This episode offers a roadmap to emotional empowerment and a more fulfilling life.

About JJ Flizanes
 jj@jjflizanes.com

/jjflizanes IG
/jflizanes on FB

JJ Flizanes is an Empowerment Strategist and the creator of the Empowering Minds Network. JJ Flizanes works with conscious, spiritual truth seekers who want to remove emotional blocks to success. She helps people identify sabotaging patterns and transmute struggle into joy. Through a series of clarifying exercises, she is able to curate a personalized roadmap to emotional healing.

JJ is the Director of Invisible Fitness, a best-selling author of Fit 2 Love: How to Get Physica

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Chapters

• 0:06 Reignite Resilience
• 13:59 Journey of Self-Discovery and Consciousness
• 19:30 Embodied Healing Intensive and Manifestation
• 26:05 Emotional Awareness and Empowerment

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:06

All of us reach a point in time where we are depleted and need to somehow find a way to reignite the fire within. But how do we spark that flame? Welcome to Reignite Resilience, where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. Resilience where we will venture into the heart of the human spirit. We'll discuss the art of reigniting our passion and strategies to stoke our enthusiasm. And now here are your hosts, natalie Davis and Pamela Cass.

Speaker 2: 0:42

Welcome back to part two of our two-part interview with JJ Flizanes. We are so excited to dive right back in and pick up where we left off, where we were talking about rewiring your core wound patterns. Let's listen in to hear what JJ has to say.

Speaker 3: 0:57

So you can go to jjflizanescom forward slash feelings list, feelings with an S feelings list and download this sheet. My recommendation is that you print many, many copies and you put them everywhere on your desk, in your purse, in your bag, in your bathroom, on your refrigerator at work and your desk. You put them everywhere because anytime you're triggered, regardless of your core wound I teach this first before I teach anything about core wounds, because I don't no matter what the context is anytime you have a negative emotion. Let me repeat that anytime you have a negative emotion, it's because a need is not being met, or the perception of a need not being met okay Doesn't mean someone's not giving you what you want, you're just not receiving it. So the first thing to do for anyone who's stuck would be just to print the page, print several pages, but take the first page and just go through the needs and circle them. Circle the needs in your life that are not being met, that are important to you. So, for instance, if beauty is not important to you, then you're not going to circle it, so who cares if you're not getting it met? But if you need acknowledgement and you're not getting it, you need awareness, you need celebration, you need, you need celebration, you need clarity, you need competence, you need aliveness, you need acceptance and belonging and communication. Anyway, there's 86 basic human needs. But that would be the first place to start because it would give you some kind of map to work with about getting those needs met and how to do that.

Speaker 3: 2:18

All right, any questions before I teach the three questions. Okay, all right, question number one once you, if you're triggered, have a negative emotion or you're just sort of stuck, would be what am I feeling? So that's why there's a hundred basic hundred feeling words on here. Okay, so the question number one is what am I feeling? Identify specifically under the category of MAD one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven different entries under MAD mad, because we all could agree correct me if I'm wrong that irritated is very different than enraged. Oh, yeah, yes, okay, irritated is a little bit mad.

Speaker 3: 2:54

You're not afraid of the person says I'm irritated, but if someone says I'm enraged, you're stepping back. Yes, you're saying let me just take a little space from you in case you swing. Yes, yeah, right, okay. So you have to, you have to be, you have to be specific about the word that you're choosing, because it has to identify exactly what's going on for you right now. What is the feeling? And you might come up with two or three words, that's fine. Come up with two or three words, but limited to two or three words, and then, after you figure out your feeling, that's step one. Step two what need is not being met that's creating this feeling. So anybody want to play the game of anything that's happened with you that we can work through, any feeling that you're stuck with, or a client that's going through something that you could speak to, or Gosh, that's okay, let's see.

Speaker 2: 3:38

I think Pam can go through one.

Speaker 3: 3:41

Just trying to think.

Speaker 2: 3:43

Well, I was just thinking because you have to be you her youngest son just graduated and is moving out, so I feel like there's some emotion or feeling that should be around that moving out?

Speaker 4: 3:52

do you know something? I don't know. Oh, maybe he's not okay, maybe he's moving into my basement.

Speaker 2: 3:57

I don't want to make announcements on the podcast that we're not there is he dealing with anything?

Speaker 3: 4:02

is he having any kind of negative emotion?

Speaker 4: 4:05

I don't know that he's having a negative. Well, you know what he probably is. I think he's getting a lot of external from dad about you need to be doing this, you should be doing this, and so I think he's and he's in that space where he doesn't even want to talk to his dad because it's a lot. It's a lot of you need to figure out what you want to do and you're 19 years old. The pressure.

Speaker 3: 4:30

So let's guess to his feelings, what do you think he'd be feeling? Do you think he'd be feeling Probably?

Speaker 4: 4:35

frustrated. Okay, I think probably frustrated is probably the most that he's probably feeling. Do you think he's overwhelmed?

Speaker 3: 4:43

He's probably overwhelmed. Absolutely Okay. So he's frustrated, he's overwhelmed. Do you think he's a little scared?

Speaker 4: 4:49

Yeah, okay.

Speaker 3: 4:50

All right. So he got frustrated and overwhelmed and scared. Okay, so what need would he have? That's not being met, that's causing frustrated and overwhelmed and scared. So he probably and I'm just going to jump down because you don't have the list in front of you and I'm going to spitball and you can tell me what you think but I think he has a need for a peace.

Speaker 4: 5:12

Yes, he probably has a need for space 100%.

Speaker 3: 5:17

He probably has a need for respect.

Speaker 3: 5:19

Yes, and he probably has a need for respect yes and he probably has a need for excitement absolutely because what's happening is all of these things that are happening are like you know, he's getting excited, he wants to be excited about his next chapter and now all he feels is pressure. Yeah, yeah, right, so there's. There's no space to like, just be with it, because he's dealing with everybody else's fear that they're projecting onto him that's not necessarily his. And then he feels responsible because he's being told he's responsible to have an answer for that, because if he's not paying for college now, he's a victim of that. Whoever's paying for college somehow thinks they deserve him to be where he's, not to satisfy their emotion.

Speaker 4: 6:03

Yes, yes, that's 100%.

Speaker 3: 6:06

Right. So this is where now the next step, next question, step number three, would be to how can I get my create some strategies? How can I create some strategies more than one to get the need met? And here's the most important part it does not require anyone else to be different. So, in the case of your son, he might want to blame his dad for creating an environment where he has these feelings, but he doesn't. His dad is his dad and he has his own worries for his own reasons and his own stuff. So, in the case of excitement, space, respect and support, I would be asking him how can you show, how can you take some space so he could say hey, dad, mom, whatever, who else, I'm going to go take a drive, I'm going to go to the lake or whatever. Like he could just decide to take some space. He could like go take a break and get away from the environment to clear his head. That's one thing he could do, that's a strategy he could take, for that he could.

Speaker 3: 7:06

Now you can ask people to be involved in your strategy, but you can't demand or expect or rely on them to comply. That's the key here, because you can't say well, I'll feel better when you do this. No, no, no, no, no, no. You cannot control anybody else, and this is where the empowerment piece, so the resilience piece, comes when you know, when you trust and you experience you getting your own needs met, because you get out of the victim cycle of thinking that everyone else controls you or that everyone else's emotions are making you blank or making you feel or do or whatever. They're not making you feel. What they are is bringing up a mirror of what you need, but it's your job to get your own need met. But most people don't teach you that. So then you just stay in the blame game and you have arguments and then you, you know, create disconnection and then nobody wins, because everybody wants different things.

Speaker 3: 7:54

Like his dad wants to feel peace also, and to him, peace looks like you following what I want, you behaving in ways that please me, right, yeah, yeah, which is as a parent, I'm sorry it's kind of crazy, right, yeah, good luck with that. I mean, maybe, if you threaten them enough, but or manipulate them enough, but they're their own person and they want the space and the peace to explore who they are and be given that respect. So then how could he respect himself differently. He could stand up for himself. He could take control of the narrative and say what are you concerned about? And let's talk about the consequences of me not knowing.

Speaker 3: 8:29

I would like to go into this with some freedom. You seem to want me to make a decision that I'm prematurely not able to make. So what happens, dad, when I say I'm not going to make that decision, I'm not going to make a decision that satisfies you, that goes against my own integrity. So then what are you going to? Not pay for me to go to school, like, have that conversation. That would be him respecting himself.

Speaker 4: 8:50

Yeah.

Speaker 3: 8:51

And then you know, and then you just follow the other things. What else did we say? We said I'm excited, right, he? That could be him changing the conversation when it's quiet. Instead of talking about all the stressful things about college, he could say, hey, let's talk about what we're excited about. I'm excited about mom and dad. What are you excited about for me? Are you excited about me to go away? And he could decide to start some momentum in a positive way and decide to get excited about it. So these would be ways he could get his needs met without having you change or his dad change or anybody else change, because he's attending to his own needs.

Speaker 4: 9:25

I love that Out of the victim cycle. I love that because we do. We tend to expect other people to meet our needs and we're the ones that have full control over that.

Speaker 3: 10:34

Well, I mean, you know we were programmed to behave in order to get love and attention, so we know where it comes from. But we can stop that cycle when we become adults. And because it doesn't, it's never going to work that way what are you going to do my ex-husband? No, I can't tell that story. I can't ask you to cut it. So let's just say there's a lot of, there's a lot of manipulation and verbal and physical abuse. That happens with people, with parents, and at some point in time you do realize, when that person becomes bigger than you, it isn't going to work anymore. Like you lose your power when it's physical or emotional or verbal.

Speaker 2: 11:08

Yes.

Speaker 3: 11:09

Because they can stand up for themselves, right. So, just with that in mind, this is why I'm real passionate about teaching this. People have been with me for years and I'll be like, why is this? And I'm like, look, go back here. Yes, the core wounds can help you understand why you're where you are, they can give you compassion for your family, they can help you make different decisions about things. But ultimately, like, if you can't figure it out, you go right here, because currently, in this red hot moment, the only reason you're feeling a negative emotion because a need's not being met or the perception of a need.

Speaker 3: 11:37

I'm gonna just give one quick more story about the perception, because a woman may say well, I'm in a marriage or a man I'm just guessing your audience is probably more women. So, my husband, I don't feel my love from my husband. Well, what's your love language, wife? Well, my love language is touch. Well, what's your husband's love language? Well, his is his form of love. So he's actually giving you love.

Speaker 3: 12:02

You're just not receiving it because you're wanting in a different way. So that's where the case of they have a need, someone who has a need for touch. So what do you do about it? How can you get the need for touch met without asking anyone else to be different? Well, in the case of a relationship, you can't demand that he be different, but I really love a hug.

Speaker 3: 12:21

Hey, do you want to have sex? Man will probably say yes. Okay, great, that's a form of touch so right. Would it be possible for us to hold hands, sometimes walking down the street? Would that be okay with you? That's a way to ask your partner to give you love in a way that you will receive it. But if you're just standing back and watching and waiting for them to act in a way that's pleasing to you, even though it's not their love language, you're going to be waiting a long time and make up all kinds of stories about why he doesn't love you and why your relationship isn't better. And it's literally just because the love languages are different. Yeah, so sometimes we're getting what we want. We just don't see it because we're not in the right frequency, because we don't understand what's going on.

Speaker 4: 12:56

Yeah, that's huge. Just just walking through. That is huge because I'm sure so many people are thinking exactly that scenario. Oh, absolutely, he's not showing me love.

Speaker 3: 13:09

Right, he doesn't love me. Why? Because he's not touching me. Does he know you want touch? Do you ask for touch? Yeah, what is his love language? Does he like touch? Maybe he doesn't even like touch. What does he like? Are you giving him his love language? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 13:23

These are some of the tools that get put into situations because, again, I like clarity, I like to understand and I feel like that helps people not take it personally and then you can know what to do about it. So, if you know, other than just complaining about the situation not getting any better and expecting everyone else to change is ridiculous, I'm sorry. It's not going to happen and if it does, because you manipulate them. It won't last and it isn't going to come from the right place.

Speaker 2: 13:54

I love that Well, and, jj, I think the example that you just shared with Pam's son can actually apply to the majority of high school graduates or even college graduates that are out there. As you were going through that example, I started to just flashback and reminisce about my own childhood, because I did. I was very much a people pleaser, because that's the way that you receive love right you check the boxes and then you're loved. And I am working through all of those pieces. But I also had that expectation of doing exactly as my parents told me to do. So this is how you're going to perform in high school. This is where you'll go to college. This is what you're going to study, this is what life will look like next.

Speaker 2: 14:27

And I did those things until they both passed away. And then I found myself in my late 20s, lost and confused and not sure who was going to tell me what to do next. That's where I found myself on this path. This, my own self-discovery, and path and journey that I'm on now is realizing. This is my story, my journey. I get to write that narrative of what it looks like.

Speaker 2: 14:50

And I don't have to just fulfill the needs of everyone else around me, and I fell into that cycle. But recognizing it at that age and when I did helped me in my parenting as well. So both of my daughters graduated from high school and I very much let them know the choice is yours. So both of my daughters graduated from high school and I very much let them know the choice is yours. What you want to do after high school. If you want to go to college, great, we support that. If you want to take a gap year and explore the world, great, we support that. If you want to move somewhere international which my oldest daughter did great, we support that.

Speaker 2: 15:19

And so, whatever that's going to look like, letting them understand this is your journey and if you fail, I'm there to catch you along the way. But if you fail, you also learn about what you like and what you don't like, and it's not me telling you what you like and what you don't like. So it has impacted how I've parented my girls. Now, if that continues to ripple, generations to come great. I just knew that I didn't want to put them in a position where they were just simply checking the box because mom said this is what you do next, and it's a different generation. I grew up right. It's the degree, it's the husband, the kids, the two dogs and the picket fence. That was the goal. That was it, and after that, no one wrote that part of the story.

Speaker 3: 15:56

Well, our consciousness has changed. We keep evolving. And if we think back to your grandparents, did your grandparents even care if they were happy? Definitely no. No, they cared if they put food on the table and they were healthy. That was it. Did you have a job? Did you have a job? Did you have a pension? Exactly.

Speaker 2: 16:09

And could you feed your kids?

Speaker 3: 16:11

I'm doing well right, but we're now so far past that that people are not willing to stay in marriages and situations and jobs that take away from their own sense of self and integrity and self-respect which is good, although it's made us a little entitled on some other areas but we don't put the work in and we think you know like with marriages, I learned all that I learned because I never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever I could repeat that for 10 minutes straight wanted to or thought I would ever get married. I'm a very committed person. I'm not married, divorced. I had to get divorced. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 3: 16:46

And so for me especially, how magical it all was when it happened and I was in alignment and I was the best I could ever been. I didn't even like it all, just sort of happened. I'm like, okay, this is the right thing. And I would check in with myself over time and say, is this still the right? Nope, stay, this is where you're supposed to be. Until one day it was like, okay, am I supposed to stay? And my intuition said, no, you've done all that you can do and you deserve more and you deserve someone who's wanting to. Because I was giving sciences, I'm like this is what we're going through right now is natural. It's normal. We have core wounds. This isn't a you're screwed up and I'm normal. Or you had a bad child or I had a bad child. This is literally we all choose each other to heal the wounds of our past. End of story. It is an even equal playing ground. I chose you, you chose me. We are in this together and so I wanted to work it out together. But again, it was perfect in the way that I had a really important need to learn this and I don't know that I would have done all the work I have done in the time that I did it in in any other case, in something that was super, super important for me. So I think that I do trust that your daughters will take this and run with this and it will continue to impact future generations because it makes us conscious and the consciousness continues to expand and we continue to fine tune and understand and get into alignment with what are we doing here on this planet.

Speaker 3: 18:01

Why did we come in the first place? And it wasn't to check some boxes and it wasn't to anyway. At least I don't think it was. I kind of feel like I know that it's not. But for any of you that don't agree with me, that's cool. Whatever you think you're here for, maybe think about that, because it is another foundational piece of a belief system. If you're an atheist, just reevaluate if that works for you. Does that have anxiety attached to that? Do you feel a certain urgency? Do you feel a certain pressure to like have to do something for the earth or like just ask yourself those questions? I'm not challenging your belief to say that it's wrong. Yeah, I'm just saying you get to choose your beliefs and if you believe something that doesn't feel good to you and your whole life is full of that you get to change that life is full of that.

Speaker 2: 18:48

You get to change that. Yeah, and only you. I love that. Oh, my goodness, if someone is getting introduced to core wounds for the very first time today, because we didn't really dive into like core wounds, what they are and all of the places that they can start to bubble up, but if someone is just coming to that understanding outside of looking at that feelings list and the needs list, where would you have someone start in? Where they are as they're listening to this episode, in the car, on a walk, whatever that may be, just to take that small moment to pause and check in with themselves. What advice would you have for those individuals?

Speaker 3: 19:16

Well, for a little more. I do like. Episode 337 on spirit, purpose and energy is called the roadmap to emotional healing and it's kind of where I started to talk about those. But I do have several podcasts that talk about. Well, I actually have. I have a free 90 minute presentation masterclass on my website called the three reasons why I talk therapy is ineffective, so that kind of goes through the evaluation.

Speaker 3: 19:41

So if you're hearing that and you have a therapist and you love your therapist and you are different in the same situation, you are different. You're not avoiding, you're not just getting divorced, moving towns, countries, quitting your job and then, oh, now I'm happy. No, no, you are different in the same situation. Yes, you could possibly still leave all those things, but they don't trigger you anymore like they did before. That, to me, is healing. That's my definition of healing. When you're different in the same situation, if you love your therapist, this is not for you.

Speaker 3: 20:09

However, if you've been in therapy for a while and you think you should be happier and you think you should be better and you think you should feel more empowered about your life and clearer and not reliant or dependent or a victim of circumstance, then definitely check out the three reasons why talk therapy is ineffective. So that will lead you down understanding what the roadmap course is about. The roadmap podcast 337 on a spirit, purpose and energy will also give a little bit more about that. And if you just go through the list, there are titles about core wounds. I've got one on core wounds and manifestation and core wounds, you know anyway. So the show is. I mean, literally it's all I talk about. I'm obsessed for the last probably two years, I think that's a great piece and that's a great starting point.

Speaker 2: 20:47

We'll make sure that we tag the show in our show notes as well, so it's easier for folks just to hop on over and listen to the episodes and they can get started to dive down that red hole as well. Yeah, yeah. I love it.

Speaker 4: 20:58

This was great.

Speaker 2: 21:00

I know, I know what else is on the horizon, jj, because I feel that no stone has been unturned. So what is what's?

Speaker 3: 21:08

on the horizon for you. Well, I'm getting prepared for my next live event, which is happening in October. It's in Redondo Beach, california. It's called the Embodied Healing Intensive and I created it because of all this psychological data that I've been giving for so long and like the, and I love like the digging and the analyzing, but at some point it's like analysis, paralysis, it's too much and it's we need to live in our bodies and too many people.

Speaker 3: 21:31

I've worked with cancer patients and with people with diseases, and, and, and I've been able to help people reverse those and heal through, you know, ridiculous situations where no other conventional things were happening. And I'm working with doctors where no other conventional things were happening. And I'm working with doctors, different kinds of naturopaths and functional medicine doctors and healers, and what I can say is that most of us, especially and I love podcast community I think the podcast community is the best community in the world, way more than YouTube, because people that are watching have a short attention span, but people that are listening are usually higher educated, have a household income as a little higher. They higher, they're more serious, they're more left-brained in ways sometimes because they're very focused, and those are my peeps, but I want those peeps to know that your left brain might be overused and your body and your emotions, like everything, lives in the body and when the body's talking to you and you're not listening, it's going to get louder. And it's going to get louder until it takes you down and by that point you can still recover. But it's a lot easier if you just listen the first time the body tells you something. So this embodiment, piece of unblocking places where we hold stuck grief or stuck anger or pain or we don't know who we are, and we would like to figure that out and we would like to be in touch with that part of who I am and that's what I've created and it's, like I said, happening in October.

Speaker 3: 22:44

I don't know when you guys are going to air the show, but I don't do a live event every year. I mean I might do another one next year. I did take a break last year, but it's just a really safe place for people to open up and feel supported and explore and be stretched. Waves help each other, get more power versus destructive interference where they kind of neutralize each other and they stop, but like two waves that come together, that of this equal frequency actually give each other power. So I can actually prove that, just showing up at my event for three days, you're literally your cells get to bathe in a frequency higher than you've ever had before in your entire life, literally, and you walk away on a high that you cannot get in any other way.

Speaker 3: 23:29

And it will last if you take the necessary steps to continue to change your circumstances in your life. But it won't if you just show up and then you just leave and nothing changes. But it's the starting point, it's the launch pad, if you will, of how to make these changes. So that's what's coming up for me very, really soon. And then after that, I've got the 14 day manifestation challenge, which is free, and that's jjflazanescom forward slash one four, d-a-y 14, and that's november. And then, other than that, I really want to go to italy this year and it's not on the books yet and I'm looking for someone to go with. So anyone I want to go in november or late october with me. Um, hit me up, because I am jonesing to get back to Florence in a really bad way.

Speaker 2: 24:09

So I feel like Pam's your travel partner. That's been on her bucket list. It's at the top of her list.

Speaker 4: 24:14

Well, I'm going to France and we're going to go up into Italy, but not Florence. I don't think we're going to Florence, but we're just tipping into Italy and then back down.

Speaker 2: 24:25

To all of the listeners, anyone interested in to italy here in the next two months, two and a half months, three months, reach out into the year.

Speaker 3: 24:32

Call jj, yes, it's like, I like it's, it's in me and I gotta, I gotta, I gotta, yeah, you gotta do it you know, we'll just book it and then you'll figure out who's gonna go and the person will show up.

Speaker 4: 24:42

Yes, that person will come yes I might do that.

Speaker 3: 24:45

Thank you, ladies. Um, I am writing my fourth, but I'm at that like creative process where I'm allowed it's very new for me I'm allowing it to birth itself. Like as I started to write it I went nope, this is too soon, like I'm not there yet, like this is not, we're not there yet, because this next one's going to be the biggest one. Oh, but I I did a second edition and a audio book. Hello, a podcaster. I didn't have an audio book.

Speaker 3: 25:10

That was like a big thing hanging over my head. Like why don't you record audio book? You're a podcaster, they like to listen to audio. Hello, you're missing the boat here. So I finally did it. At the end of last year. I committed and I launched the Invisible Fitness Formula five secrets to release weight and end body shame, second edition, plus the audio book in January of 2024. So I do have to do the audio book for fit to love that one I'm dragging my feet on and I would do want to complete that before I really kind of dive into this next one, which, of course, will be all about emotion and core wounds and manifestation and life purpose and all that kind of fun stuff.

Speaker 2: 25:47

Well, congratulations, that's exciting. Congratulations on the relaunch the update the audio books. I know that that's a big piece. We've had a couple of guests that are authors and they're working on the same thing, so I love hearing that when that's released and updated, let us know. We're happy to share that with our community as well.

Speaker 3: 26:04

Yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. So would it be okay if I asked you guys and I know I was a firehose, which is why, when you said, well, hoping just to give our audience a little bit of value, and I was like, yes, yeah, don't worry, I'm like a firehose. So can I ask you what a takeaway might've been for you, or like the most interesting or thing that I said today for you, or not just your audience?

Speaker 2: 26:30

I know you're being really good hosts by knowing this will help them. But is there anything that helped you? Oh, for me, I'm doing your mini course already. I've flagged the page on my laptop, so I'm here.

Speaker 2: 26:35

It's up with the feelings and the needs because, as you went through that exercise, I think there's a lot of practice out there that will put you in that space of getting in touch with your feelings. Anyone that knows me personally, they know that that's a space that I don't typically enjoy. Spending a lot of time in my family even jokes and says like she's got feelings, they're in there somewhere. It's not a space that I really just like to nestle into. But when you couple that with understanding the needs that are not being met, that resonated with me so deeply and that for me, just the way that my brain works is an easier anchor to say here are the needs that are not met.

Speaker 2: 27:14

The other piece for me is I struggle with self-care. I find it hard to identify and create things to just do for myself and to celebrate my wins as well, just for myself, and so that's. I'm going to put that higher on the list in terms of priorities for my own personal discovery. So I have two big ones that I've. Those are my two big ones that I've taken away today.

Speaker 4: 27:37

Oh, awesome, thank you, and mine is that same. That activity that you went through for my son. That's huge. I'm going to print off like 15 copies of it and do the course as well, cause I I just never I guess I just never thought of it from that angle before you know, identifying what those feelings were and then what the need is that's not being met, cause I have been a lifelong people pleaser, lifelong, and I've never focused on the things that I need and being able to identify what those feelings are and having a list of words I mean I never even want to thought of space, peace, respect, excitement, right, like I need that. I need that list so that I can actually identify what the feeling is or what that need is that's not being met, and then figure out how I can meet that need and not expect somebody else to meet it. I think that's a huge piece of it too, because I, I think we just are like well, I, I want you to meet the meet that need for me.

Speaker 2: 28:34

No, no no, no, do it for me, just fix it, just do it, just do it.

Speaker 4: 28:38

No, that's, that's my responsibility. I need to take ownership of it. So you know, get out of that victim cycle and just meet it myself. I think it's huge.

Speaker 3: 28:47

I'd love if you guys do it and use it successfully. I'd love to hear about it Absolutely. You know, even in my current Date, your Body program, which doesn't deal with core wounds at all, but I gave them access to. I have a little mini course called the Anatomy of Emotion and I teach what I just showed you guys in a little bit longer form in a, like I said, a live event. But I had someone in the day your body like watch that and have her mind blown. And she went oh my God, like I can get my own need met. She goes I feel so, I feel so good about that, like it really like made a huge change. I'm like wait till you do the rewire program, cause she actually wanted to do the rewire, which is the core wound program. But I'm like, well, you could get into this one. And she's like, okay and so, but it's really interesting to see because it really is empowering and it is so simple. But it I'll tell you it is not easy because we are just taught to expect.

Speaker 3: 29:37

People aren't even taught about emotion. Like, how do you process emotion? You just think, oh, one day I'm going along, I'm feeling good, then feel bad. Why Must be your fault? I feel bad because of you. You made me feel bad. Yes, yeah, right, but then like, let's go down that path for a second. So what do you think you're going to do? Ask that person to stop doing what they're doing. So, every person you meet, every time you get triggered, you're going to ask the whole world to be different so that you feel better. Do you think that's actually going to work? How many of us would have to remember 20 things in order to do or not do for somebody else so they don't get it happening? It is not happening. That's our world right now it's always our world, our world is not going to change.

Speaker 3: 30:13

We have to change, and then we will be attracted to and find ourselves in situations with people who have learned and taken responsibility and are living differently than the average person. The average person is is in blame, and the average person is why do you think we have so many suicides? Why do you think there's so much anxiety and people who've been diagnosed with new things that most countries don't even acknowledge? Because, oh, you have a brain, oh, your child has ADD or ADHD? Let's see, both parents worked. They weren't around. Your child is full of energy. They were told to calm down, like no, they're just full of emotion. There's nothing wrong with them. We're living in a world where you're asking them to repress all of their creative young energy so that everyone else is comfortable, and then you're going to label it some diagnosis, anyway. I could go on about that forever, but um, anyway, but you get the gist. So I'm glad you're here, I'm glad you, you, I'm glad you. You found some value.

Speaker 2: 31:04

Hopefully, everyone who's listening yes, a ton of value. This was huge, this was amazing amazing, thank you. Jj, do you have any parting words for our listeners? Anything that we haven't touched on that you were really hoping that we would get to dive into today?

Speaker 3: 31:20

we did pretty good on uh, covering a lot of subjects. I guess all I'll say is I'll leave you with a couple quotes.

Speaker 3: 31:27

I'll leave you with a couple quotes love it uh, the first one is a law of attraction quote from Abraham Hicks, but I think it's the most important one. It's the only reason why you want what you want is because you think you'll feel better when you have it. So that is not to say let me because I I've now understood people misinterpreting what I how like mishearing that Notice that when you want something, the only reason you want it is because you think you're going to feel better. Well, guess what? You can feel better without having it. In fact, that's what law of attraction is. You got to get to the feeling first, then you get the thing, and then, when you get to the feeling, you don't even need the thing, because the only reason why you wanted the thing was so you'd feel better.

Speaker 3: 32:08

So just keep in mind that your feelings run your life. I know, natalie, that might be something that you don't want to feel like. That's like, okay, I don't have feelings, you do. You're not sharing them, but your feelings are the reason why you choose everything all of the time. Yeah, I don't care what the situation is. I got to go to work. Why to pay the bills? Why to feel safe to feel. Why to pay the bills? Why? To feel safe, to feel secure, to feel peace, to feel right. Everything is about how we feel.

Speaker 4: 32:36

And if we don't value how you feel, you cannot expect someone else to value how you feel. Yeah, absolutely yeah, that's good enough. All right, that's a perfect place to end. Love it. I think that's fabulous.

Speaker 2: 32:42

Oh my gosh, jj, thank you, thank you, thank you. This has been an absolute treat. So many takeaways and resources. So, for our listeners, we will make sure that we flag the resources that JJ talked about today in our show notes so that you can easily access that. But you can just go to JJ's website as well and I think you're active on social platforms, so she's searchable Just Google her, you will not miss it. And if you're interested in attending her live event or upcoming events, I think they're all on your website, if I'm not mistaken. They are Beautiful, perfect.

Speaker 2: 33:14

Thank you ladies. Thank you so much. Thank you, thank you and for our listeners as usual. If you are wanting to learn more about what's happening in the world of Reignite Resilience, head on over to reigniteresiliencecom or find us on Facebook or Instagram under the Reignite Resilience podcast.

Speaker 1: 33:35

Until next time. We'll see y'all soon. Thanks, guys. Thank you for joining us today on the Reignite Resilience podcast. We hope you had some aha moments and learned a few new real life ideas. To fuel the flames of passion. Please subscribe on your favorite streaming platform, like or download your favorite episodes and, of course, share with your friends and family. We look forward to seeing you again next time on Reignite Resilience.